Jocoe’s Journal 5/18/08
The
best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke
A
teacher was finishing up a lesson on the joys of discovery and the importance
of curiosity. "Where would we be today," she asked, "if no one
had ever been curious?"
One
child quietly spoke up from the back of the room. "In
the Garden of Eden?"
The
Father's Name
To
prepare for my daughter's first communion, I called the church in the town
where we used to live to get a copy of her baptismal certificate. We only lived there for a short while, so I
didn't know the clergy very well. When
the secretary asked me the name of the father, I told her I couldn't remember.
After
a brief silence, she said, "Ma'am, I'm talking about the name of the
baby's father."
Rare Meat
My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe in
The waitress gave us a long, blank look and then replied, "Well,
no. We have it like just about
everyday."
The minister of a city church enjoyed a drink now and then, but his
passion was for peach brandy. One of his
congregants would make him a bottle each Christmas.
One year, when the minister went to visit his friend, hoping for
his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him
that he had to thank him for the peach brandy from the pulpit the next Sunday.
In his haste to get the bottle, the minister hurriedly agreed and
left. So the next Sunday the minister
suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being
supplied alcohol from a member of the church.
That morning, his friend sat in the church with a grin on his face,
waiting to see the minister's embarrassment.
The minister climbed into the pulpit and said, "Before we
begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe,
for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given !"
Sales Demonstration
The salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in the department
store.
He was impressing the people who stopped
by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the
crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack.
Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable'
comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is
what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside..."
Passport Photo
Unfortunately, getting a new passport required a new photo. As I handed my ten-year-old passport and the
new picture to the clerk, I sighed. "I like the original better," I
told her.
"Trust me," she said. "Ten years from now, you'll
like this one."
In School
A friend of mine has three boys, the youngest of whom,
Gregory, had just started school.
A teacher commented to Gregory that she couldn't believe he was
already in first grade and asked what his mother did all day now that all the
three boys were in school.
"Cartwheels,
A Difficult Question
There was a student who wanted to be admitted to the University.
He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GED, and was
to appear for the personal interview.
Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be
bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to
corner the boy.
"Tell me your choice," said he to the boy, "What's
your choice? I shall either ask you ten
easy questions or ONE real difficult.
Think well before you make up your mind."
The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is ONE real
difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!"
said the man on the opposite side. Tell
me: What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: "It's the DAY, sir."
Thinking to himself ("At last, I got you!"), the
interviewer smiled and said, "How???"
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you would ask me ONLY ONE
difficult question!"
The student was admitted to the University.
TRIVIA
·
The world's population grows by some 100 million each year.
·
Some 950
million people in the world are malnourished.
·
The average male adult is 5'9'' tall and weighs 155 pounds.
·
The average female adult is 5'3'' tall and weighs 125 pounds.
·
There are 106 boys born for every 100 girls.
·
·
B-A-S-Q-U-E The most difficult
language to learn is Basque, which is spoken in northwestern
·
Click-Click-
·
U.S.
Vice-President William R. King was sworn into office in
·
King had gone
to
·
A jellyfish is 95% water.
·
The onion is named after a Latin word meaning large pearl.
·
In
·
Salt, our
oldest preservative, was extremely rare in the past. So rare, in fact, that it was often used as
pay.
·
Ice Cream is
Chinese Food! When the famous explorer
Marco Polo returned to his homeland of
·
Baker's Dozen
Bakers used to be fined if their loaves were under weight, so they used to add
an extra loaf to every dozen, just in case -- hence, the expression
"baker's dozen"
·
Sometimes
Frozen Fruits And Vegetables re More Nutritious Than Fresh! The longer that fruits or vegetables sit
around waiting to be sold or eaten, the more nutrients they lose. But fruits and vegetables grown for freezing
are usually frozen right after they're picked.
Therefore, they have less time to lose their nutrients.
For more information,
please contact:
Tom Telfer, B.A. Rotary Club of London West, PP PHF
District 6330 London, Ontario,
Charter member of ROTI & Rotary Editors &
Publishers
Editor of Jocoe’s Journal
ttelfer@rogers.